I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
