i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
