I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize