i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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