Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
