My nipple is on Facebook.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
