Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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