Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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