a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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