In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
