My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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