I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
