Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
