woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
