I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
