fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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