just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
