:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
