pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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