Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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