i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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