I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
