One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
