I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
ugly people sure do ruin things
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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