im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
