i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
