So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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