it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
