there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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