Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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