Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
