Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
