If i come over, it means nothing
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
