why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
