Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
