I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This baby is an asshole
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
