Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
COCAINE IS GR8
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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