Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize