are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
