Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
