to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
