Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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