I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So much rum. So many feels.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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