My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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