guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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