office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
