Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
