I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
