Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I wish you could order shots online.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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