He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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