tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
