I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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