I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
