Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish I only lived at night.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
