Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
