it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize