Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
