Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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