I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
