Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
