Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
